The Mall of My Life
by ELEANOR MORROW
Observe and Report
dir. Jody Hill
It is tacky to make fun of malls and people who enjoy them. A mall security guard is a perfectly fine profession. Unlike the people who put together cars that destroy the Earth's atmosphere, unlike people who waste natural resources by teaching children in higher education, unlike the disappointed union of so-called professional journalists, a mall security guard actually does something important.
I got about a third of the way through a cam version of Paul Blart: Mall Cop that Alex forced me to download before I cried uncle. Observe and Report is slightly more noxious, but at least it pretends it is a film rather than a selection of Kevin James physical comedy gags.
Unfortunately, there is a good reason for that, as Seth Rogen believes he is too good for physical comedy. In fact, Rogen believes he is too good for acting in general, as evidenced by the fact that he throws a profanity into the most innocuous of statements to get a laugh. For some reason this is so much funnier when Danny McBride is uttering the profanity in question.
I touted the genius of Eastbound & Down in these pages recently, and it feels somehow wrong to hate this movie and love the series. There's something very redemptive about Eastbound, a kind of unexpected joie de vivre that Observe and Report hints at in its better moments.
In case you hadn't noticed, we have permanently re-entered the age of the low budget comedy. I mean, good lord, Paul Blart cost $26 million and made $186 million. Seth Rogen may not be a math whiz, but he can surely guesstimate how much weed that kind of money can buy.
There is some real joy in watching people of modest intellectual and physical means overcome obstacles, or having a TV show pay for them to overcome obstacles, as on Extreme Home Makeover. Watching victory after such a trial is the simplest kind of drama, easier than plot or action. The tears of a clown are cheaper, by far, than special effects.
Since the people who write Hollywood films have by and large never experienced the kind of glory coming from passing such a trial, they write this phenomenon terribly. They write it like Rudy, perhaps the most destructive film ever released, instead of writing it like Taxi Driver, maybe the finest film ever made.
The low-budget comedy is back, and it has no more prolific torch carriers than the ones known as Jody Hill, Ben Best, and Danny McBride. After conquering pay cable, they now routinely bringing their vision of the world to the big screen. And as much as Danny McBride playing a Latino gang boss almost saves this movie, it doesn't in fact save this movie.
Malls need a lobby like the military or disabled people so they can stop looking like the most horrible places on earth. Every mall I have ever been to has scores of women more appealing than Brandy (Anna Faris, proving Just Friends was her peak) and with less plastic surgery on their lips. Malls are places where furtive joy can be found in capitalism, and those sorts of places grow exceedingly rare.
I like malls, and dislike the humor of the people who look down on them. Malls are suffering in these crazy times, and most people don't notice or care. But a mall is commerce, exactly the thing we lack at this moment.
Have you ever been to the Mall of America? I know of no more impressive achievement. Constructed by the fair people of the middle of our country, it is a smorgasboard of the best shopping, the most brightly lit stores. It is a shining beacon, it was once (and could be again, in more decadent times) a gathering place like the Roman baths, or the Coliseum.
There is something really sad about making a movie about a place that these people, in real life, would never actually go to. It's like they shot Observe and Report in the Phillippines.
We used to go the movies to have fun, now we go for one of two reasons: either we go to feel better about our own lives, or we go to be humbled.
Eleanor Morrow is the senior contributor to This Recording. She tumbls here.
"Shout Me Out (Willie Isz remix)" — TV on the Radio (mp3)
"Stork & Owl (Gang Gang Dance remix)" — TV on the Radio (mp3)
"Red Dress (Glitch Mob remix)" — TV on the Radio (mp3)
