Things I Find Funny
by MOLLY LAMBERT
Phyllis Diller, Dave Chappelle, Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, the This Recording YouTube channel, Mary Hartman Mary Hartman, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Bob and Ray, SCTV, Wanda Sykes, Susie Essman, Cheryl Hines
When people tell you how they're going to say "fuck it" to life and move to some other city or country and then you see them three months later at a party and they're all "o, hai," Alex's crush on Ayn Rand, when Alex threatens to make a list of "The top 10 Women Of All Time" and asks for help because he can't come up with 10, culture-bound syndromes, fanfic, Ernie Kovacs
"Lesbians" who backtrack and start dating guys and are all "I know, we'll talk about it later," when Alex says something genuine and heartfelt and then I realize he's just fucking with me, When Marky Mark goes to record the song in Boogie Nights, religions, tumblr, Keeping A Notebook, Mary Rambin, when I looked up "self worth" on thesaurus.com and this happened:
South Park, Stephen Colbert, Bill Murray, Mark Twain, Mindy Kaling, David Sedaris, Becca Wiener, Emily Gould, Rachael Bedard, the internet, monkeys dressed up like people, Super Grover, The Muppet Show, Mah Nà Mah Nà, Huga Wuga
Ernest Hemingway and Orson Welles wrestling, Louis C.K. and Lucky Louie, Chunklet Magazine, Your Show Of Shows, Lindsayism, Chappelle's Show, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry and Jeff Garlin trying to keep a straight face in their Curb scenes with Susie Essman, Nichols and May, Doug Benson, Oh my car
Baby porcupines, capybaras, Narwhals, bears, giant pandas cubs, red pandas, cats, cats in outfits making faces showing you how much they don't want to be in an outfit, the hilarious hyrax:
The Cable Guy, Clueless, Safe Men, Heathers, Mean Girls, Night Of The Lepus, The King Of Comedy, Dick, Caddyshack, Animal House, The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh, Brain Candy (the cab driver, toast fucking, Cancer Boy, Happiness Pie, Dunk The Drug! "It was only a couple of Flipper babies!")
Chris! I thought you said the drug was ready! I'm confused.
When sidekicks are vastly superior to the person they're supposedly a sidekick to (Garth Algar, Luigi, Donald Duck, Daffy Duck, Cameron from Ferris Bueller), Andrew Lasken's videos, his love song to Riskay, his tribute to Daniel Powter's exposed brain syndrome, interviews with Quentin Tarantino where the interviewer can't get him to stop talking, sloth babies:
The Best Show On WFMU, The Gorch, Philly Boy Roy, The Best Show recaps on Recidivism, The Erowid Vault, geoducks, Campus Ladies
Thinking about Biggie ghostwriting Hard Core for Lil' Kim and imagining him coming up with lines like "I used to be scared of the dick, Now I throw lips to the shit, Handle it like a real bitch", Lil' Wayne, Suga Free, Snoop's interest in country, Trick Daddy
Tina Fey, Amy Sedaris, Morgan Murphy, Jen Kirkman, Mo Collins, Chelsea Peretti, Laura Kightlinger and The Minor Accomplishments Of Jackie Woodman, Jessica Chaffin, Melinda Hill, C.J. Arabia, Natasha Leggero, Amanda Egge, Kat Dennings and her video blog, Mary Van Note, Charlyne Yi
Al Capp, Rube Goldberg, Edward Gorey, Jules Feiffer, B. Kliban, Quentin Blake, David Shrigley, Roz Chast, Charles Addams, Peter Bagge, Chick Tracts, Carl Barks, Lynda Barry, R. Crumb, Archie, Krazy Kat, Nancy, Little Lulu, Plastic Man, Julia Wertz
Daniel Pinkwater, Jean Shepherd, S.J. Perelman, Charlie Kaufman, David Sedaris, Woody Allen before he got creepy, The Marx Brothers (ranked) 1. Harpo, 2. Groucho 3. Chico, Mel Brooks, Charlie Chaplin, Harold Lloyd, Mae West, Buster Keaton
Bob Dylan, particularly as uber-indie a-hole circa "Don't Look Back," Will Oldham, R. Kelly, Mariah Carey, Pete Wentz's man-crush on John Mayer, John Mayer on Chappelle's show, Prince, Prince's desire to call Apollonia's group "Vagina 6", the Mary Jane Girls, Klymaxx and Bernadette Cooper from Klymaxx
Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters 2, Godfather 3, all the comedies made by the Coen brothers and most of the dramas too, talking about Southland Tales and still not having seen it (although to be fair, I have watched long sequences on youtube, which seems like the way it was meant to be experienced), Santa's Village
The Tess And Molly Show, Gabe & Jenny, Kristen Schaal, Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch, Missi Pyle, ONTD, fourfour and Rich Juzwiak, Flight Of The Conchords, The episode of The Sarah Silverman Show where Sarah tried to have a crush on Officer Tig Notaro, all the jokes on that show about Valley Village
Freaks and Geeks, Bill Haverchuck, Jason Segel's performances in the Apatow canon, especially as Eric on Undeclared, when Neal does the ventriloquism routine, Biff as Coach Fredericks, Dave 'Gruber' Allen as Mr. Rosso
Dorothy Parker, Kim Deal, Ellen Page looking super uncomfortable in a fancy dress on the red carpet, Frank Black shirtless, Pot Psychology, Emily Gould, Tracie Egan, when Moe Tkacik hasn't had sex in a while and she writes something really cranky and funny and awesome, picturing Nick Denton sitting on a cloud made of money like Zeus and laughing at all of us
Livia Soprano, Livia saying "Oh poor you," Paulie Walnuts and Silvio Dante, Christophuh and Ade, Janice "Parvati" Soprano
Max Silvestri, Human Giant, Showfriendz, Jerry Minor, Eugene Mirman, Katt Williams, the Chongalicious girls, Jane Lynch especially in Talladega Nights as Ricky Bobby's mom
Garry Shandling, The Larry Sanders Show, when Larry thought David Duchovny had a crush on him, when Hank's sex tape comes out and on it he's asking two girls if they want a "mouthful of Hank," everything Mary Lynn Rajskub does especially being on 24, and her deleted scene with Tom Cruise in Magnolia
Everybody on The (American) Office, but especially Toby, Meredith, Stanley, and Creed. Oh and also Angela, Kelly Kapoor and Phyllis, are my dream guests for a slumber party. When B.J. moved to New York and became a cokehead. The dinner party at Michael and Jan's house, Jan's scented candle business
The whole 30 Rock gang, especially Liz Lemon, Tracy, Jenna, Kenneth, and Jack, the Sheinhardt wig company. Everybody on How I Met Your Mother, especially NPH and Willow, T-Pain, Plies, rap beefs that don't end in death, Weird Al, novelty musical genres, Girls Aloud, kitten in a tissue box
Ernst Lubitsch, Billy Wilder, Preston Sturges, North By Northwest, Cary Grant, Warren Beatty in Shampoo and Reds, in Sullivan's Travels when they show the cartoon to the chain gang, Robert Altman, The Long Goodbye and California Split
Madeline Kahn, Carole Lombard, Diane Keaton, Joan Blondell, Jean Harlow, Marilyn Monroe, Barbara Stanwyck, Katharine Hepburn, Bernadette Peters, Cloris Leachman, Teri Garr
Tess Lynch, Tyler Coates, Alex Carnevale, Bridget Moloney, Danish Aziz, Sam Solomon, Mike Metzger, Lizzy Klein, Mike D, Amir Shoucri, Joni and Susanna , my parents, my whole family, my brother Ben Lambert and his Lambo drawings
another case of exposed brain sydrome
Jack White's hair, Britney Spears, Pete Doherty, Dov Charney, Hippies, Punks, Noise Music, Hipsters, Techno, the Hennifer Lopez taco-flavored keeses, Butters, Matt & Trey, Home Movies, Brendon Small, the many alt white people of Portland
Professor Klarvin and his lover Virginia
ABBA videos, David Byrne's dinner with Brian Eno, The Jonas Brothers and their purity rings, Sneakernight, Miley Cyrus lyrics ("if you text me, I'll delete it"), Disney's stable of child stars
Shitty serious teen films that come on the movie channels at 2 am and usually star Dominique Swain, Bijou Phillips, or some combination thereof, the all-time best/worst one of these; Havoc, starring Bijou Phillips, Anne Hathaway, Anne Hathaway's breasts, and Freddie Rodriguez as a cholo from the east side of LA, the fact that Havoc was written by Stephen Gaghan, who also wrote shitty/serious non-teen movie Traffic
Zach Galifianakis, Patton Oswalt, Brian Posehn, and Maria Bamford, the Comedians Of Comedy DVD, the part where they go to a Cracker Barrel, Puns on WALL*E, Puns on "He's Just Not That Into You," the compulsive inability to stop punning known as witzelsucht, Larry David as the "temp Beatle"
When white people pick one rapper to like and it's Lil' Wayne, when rappers pick one white people band to like and it's Coldplay, pan flutes, people who sexualize The Chippettes, the parts in Walk Hard with Tim Meadows, "I'm just so tired of all these Star Wars" Mr. Show's Monster Parties: Fact Or Fiction:
Molly Lambert is the managing editor of This Recording. She twitters here and tumbls here.
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"Satellite" — Hope Sandoval and the Warm Inventions (mp3)
"Lady Jessica and Sam" — Hope Sandoval and the Warm Inventions (mp3)
THIS RECORDING IS THE FREAK BOOK