A Fine Polish
by LETIZIA ROSSI
The internet being what it is, a system of pneumatic tubes, a yelling horn, a web in which the number one rule is that you do not toss litter into blackholes, it seems both fitting and logical that an urban educated woman of middling internet savvy would find herself ensconced in the esoteric world of nail polish blogs. I know exactly how and when I found her but what matters is that I found her. "Welcome to my blog!" she beckoned. "Here are some of my interests: animals, nail polish, nature, cosmetics, drawing, vampires and other weird stuff." With that casual introduction Nihrida's blog ushered me into the bizarre world of nail polish blogs. Nihrida's blog consists primarily of photos and descriptions of various shades and brands of nail polish, tutorials on how to create special nail art effects, and stories about Nihrida's pets, boyfriend, her battle with depression and everyday life in Slovenia, pretty much in that order.
It might seem odd to forgo the wealth of news, politics, pornography, street style, tweets from celebutantes, videos of cats and so on that make up the virtual encyclopedia of information that is these internets in favor of pictures of pretty nails but there is a way in which Nihrida's artistry matched with the pathos and dry wit of her writing beckons you deeper into her world. And also sometimes a girl just wants to read a rando blog. Yet despite countless afternoon lost gazing at her hands, I know precious little about her. I don't think she actually works as a manicurist. I think she is a student. She has a thing for Edward Norton.
Of course Nihrida is not the first Slovenian to lend her talents to the realm of consumer goods, her compatriot critical theorist Slavoj Zizek famously contributed the copy for the Back to School edition of the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog. And Nihrida is far from alone in the world of nail polish blogs, her blogroll is more than 50 deep with sites like The Nail Nerd , Nail Addicts Anonymous , Nail Junkie ,ART OF NAIL, Scandalously Polished, Nailin' It! and Concrete and Nail Polish.
Nor is her blog obscure. She has over 800 followers and her posts average somewhere between fifteen to thirty comments each, a feat I only accomplished that time I was the first person on the entire internet to blog about Aretha Franklin's inauguration hat or the time I caused a debate about the hetero-normative implications of my cute boys and other cute stuff website. (But that is a whole other story.)
The first thing that strikes you about Nihrida and her fellow nail obsessives is the absolute perfection of their work. Anyone who has ever given themselves a manicure know that these results are not typical, but it is their scientific approach to classifying, and cataloging the minute differences in shades that fascinates me.
The majority follow the same format: photos of the bottles, descriptions of consistency, photos of the finished manicure (sometimes taken in both indoor and outdoor lighting) and comparison to similar products. Most of the Polish blogs are I found are written by young women in foreign countries, Swedes, Filipinas, Norwegian expats living in Qatar, etc, although most chose to write in English. The fact of their geographic diversity means they are able to trade polishes across the world.
I can't really put my finger on (see what I did there) why these women are so obsessed with all things nail related, it could be the artistic expression, the sense of community, some meditative aspect of spending so much time meticulously applying polish or judging from their chosen lexicon 'nail addicts', 'polish junkies' I wouldn't be surprised to find out there is an actual narcotic element to the chemicals involved (a sort of huffing meets tanorexia).
In a recent post, Nihrida replicates Beyoncé's manicure from the "Why Don't You Love Me?" video. This video is a masterpiece for many reason not the least of which is the styling of Ms. B as a jilted yet glamorous housewife complete with period underwear, stilettos and excesses of jewelry. Her pale green nails wipe the tears from her mascara-streaked eyes.
Those of us who follow these things know that Beyonce manicurist Tom Bachik used Chanel nail colour in Nouvelle Vague from the highly sought-after Summer 2010 collection. (Get yours on eBay because that shiz is sold out.) I'm not sure why it is my lot in life to effortlessly retain this sort of information, instead of say, the correct amount of time to cook a soft but not runny boiled egg, but I know it though I wish I didn't.
Of course Nihrida has her own brand preferences and Chanel doesn't seem to be one of them. She can though, provide you with many other options.
Vintage Polish by Eyeko:
I'm sure you all know Eyeko. If not by their products, you most certainly can remember them by their packaging. Aren't these nail polish bottles cute?
Barry M. Mint Green:
Beautiful color, but it needs three coats and it dries rather slowly.
A sampling of Nihrida's droll wit and casual cadence:
I got Maybelline promo email about a new mascara product with the chance to win it and I said to myself: why not, let's give it a shot. As I was entering my info, I realized there's no Slovenia in the 'country' drop down menu. Errrm... Did they think that Slovenia and Slovakia are the same sh*t? Well, they wouldn't be the first to think that. But when I was browsing through the menu trying to find something that's ''close enough'' I found Yugoslavia on the list. What?! I knew that Yugoslavia didn't exist before I knew that Santa Claus doesn't exist.OK, if we're completely accurate: Slovenia hasn't been a part of Yugoslavia since 1991, but Yugoslavia ceased to be in 2003. But another question comes to my mind: why is there Bosnia and Herzegovina on the list then? I don't know if this is the result of bad education system or just a bad sense of humor, but I know one thing: Stay in school, kids!
On Saturday I visited Hellektro for the first time. I'm not really into electro, techno or industrial music, but it was the only decent event in town of Ljubljana that day (and that's the capital of Slovenia). Dress code was: industrial, fetish, gothic, cyber, black. At first I wanted to wear the outfit on the photo below (left), but the shoes were too Julia Roberts in Pretty Girl and the hat was too ''gay bar''. I got rid of those two and wore my high Undercover boots.
Maybe you are all thinking "What is this girl doing here? She is just copying and pasting from a Slovenian nail polish blog." This would in fact be a correct assertion. Then again maybe I am doing some Richard Prince style appropriation type ART here people. "Yes, but Richard Prince gave us naked Brooke Shields," you are thinking. Creeps. Maybe you don't see the value in all of this, but I've already proven that Nihrida has a wider following and is much more successful than this humble blogger. She had me the first time she mentioned her cat. But if you are still not getting the proverbial 'it' I tell you this: "Maybe you're just not the one/or maybe you're just plain dumb."
Letizia Rossi is a contributor to This Recording. She is a writer living in New York. This is her first appearance in these pages. She tumbls here and blogs here.
"Why Don't You Love Me (karmatronic dub remix)" - Beyoncé Knowles (mp3)
"Why Don't You Love Me (jump smokers club remix)" - Beyoncé Knowles (mp3)
"Why Don't You Love Me (groove police remix)" - Beyoncé Knowles (mp3)
