In Which Señor Spielbergo Delivers Los Hobbits
Tuesday, May 27, 2008 at 5:09PM Man Getting Hit by Football
by Molly Lambert
You know that Simpsons episode with a crossover appearance from Jon Lovitz as The Critic where Mr. Burns decides to make a movie and when Steven Spielberg is busy Burns hires his non-union Mexican equivalent, Señor Spielbergo?
Peter Jackson, Lord Of The Onion Rings
Well I guess I needed to see side by side pictures to really bring it home, but Peter Jackson has basically pulled a Monty Burns by contracting The Hobbit out to Guillermo Del Toro, because dude IS the Mexican Peter Jackson. He's like, Pedro Jackson.
Guillermo del Toro, El Padre De Los Chicharrones
Seriously though, I'm not fattist or anything but when did it become a rule that you must be at least 300 pounds in order to direct a Hollywood movie?
Jon Favreau: I Am Trans-Fats Man
Also, how weird is it that Barack Obama's main speechwriter is also a guy named Jon Favreau? How many times a day do you think someone tells him how money he is?
Jon Favreau: You're so money, you have so much money!
If there's one thing young Obama supporters love more than Barack, it's making out of date pop cultural references. I mean, the real reason I stayed in Camp Crazy 4 Hilldog for so long is that I couldn't stand white Obama supporters and their nonstop quoting of Family Guy. Did I mention repeating back something you heard on TV or in a Will Ferrell movie is not the same thing as telling a joke?
When South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone were questioned about the meanest thing ever said to them, Stone replied "When people say to me, 'God, you guys have one of the best shows on television. You and Family Guy.' That fucking hurts so bad", to which Parker agreed: "Very well said. It's such a kick in the balls."
Don't you ever, EVER compare me to Family Guy, you hear me Kyle? Compare me to Family Guy again and so help me, I will kill you where you stand! Do you have any idea what it's like?
Everywhere I go: "Hey Cartman you must like Family Guy, right?" "Hey, your sense of humor reminds me of Family Guy, Cartman!" I am nothing like Family Guy! When I make jokes they are inherent to a story! Deep situational and emotional jokes based on what is relevant and has a point, not just one random interchangeable joke after another!
DRUNK PATRON SAINT OF FAT DIRECTORS ORSON WELLES
[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5LkDNu8bVU"]
"Sleeping Stone" - Duffy (mp3)
"I'm Your Man '96" - Wham! (mp3)
PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING
Ain't This Recording Cool News?