In Which Wife's Not A Playa She Just Crushes A Lot And Other Tales From A Classic Children's Morality Play

Those of you who know The Pigman will likely remember this morality tale from the earlier version of it. I did a rewrite awhile ago as a friend test. That is, I was not sure I wanted to be friends with anyone who answered this wrong. Read on:

A Husband and Wife live in a house.

the husband works long hours

his wife feels abandoned

every morning when he goes to work

she crosses the bridge in the town that goes over the river

and goes to her Lover.

this doesn't happen every day

but often enough

she feels guilty about it

but she's lonely

so one day the husband tells his wife that he's going on a business trip

he'll be gone for the whole weekend

she begs him not to go

because if he goes

she knows, she'll go over the bridge

and let the Lover emancipate the bejeezus out of her

She says, "Take me with you." She knows that if he goes, she'll go.
He tells her no.

he suspects something may be up

he leaves on the business trip that friday

sure enough, once he's gone, she goes over the bridge to the Lover's house.

The husband calls her up on Saturday night, late, and says he's coming home early

in a panic, she gets her clothes on,

and goes to the bridge to return home.

On the bridge, she sees an Assassin.

She knows if she crosses the bridge, the assassin will kill her.

The only other way to cross the river

is by ferry

She goes down to the Boatman

and she says, "I need to cross the river."

He says, sure, $40 it's not the regular fare but there is really nothing regular at all about this

she has no money

she explains the situation

he says, It costs $40

She goes back to the Lover's house.

She tells him what's happening, and asks him for $40.

He says, "This is the situation that you got yourself in, and you need to get yourself out of it."

She begs

he refuses to help her

Panicked, she goes back to the bridge.

Despairing, she tries to cross it.

The Assassin strikes her down and kills her.

Now

Please rank, from 1-5, with 1 being the most responsible

and 5 being the least responsible

Who is the most responsible for the Wife's death

The WIFE, the HUSBAND, the LOVER, the BOATMAN, or THE ASSASSIN? Rank them in order.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Are you doing it?

Edward Albee

Are you doing it?

Now it's signification time:

according to Edward Albee, who got the story from Greek fishermen, this exercise reveals your values, or what matters most to you in life

LOVER = SEX
WIFE = FUN (fun could also mean contentment)
ASSASSIN = MONEY
BOATMAN = MAGIC (magic could also mean luck)
HUSBAND = LOVE

Danish's observation:

So magic is in people's top 5 values..Harry Potter is destroying america

Agreed! According to the spaztastic Will Hubbard:

so i am

1. MONEY
2. MAGIC
3. SEX
4. LOVE
5. FUN

I would say this is pretty accurate, but it needs further translation

MONEY (which really means SEX)
MAGIC (which really means POETRY)
SEX (which really means LOVE)
LOVE (which really means MONEY)
FUN (which really means PORN)

Hmm. I dunno.

Myself, I don't really know who to blame anymore, or what I once thought. If I had to say now what I think, I am of the opinion no one is to blame, except perhaps society, or maybe the Jews. I'll have to keep thinking about this.

Comments

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