In Which You Can Battle Our Crew If You Bring It

RSS Side Story

by Molly Lambert

The internet is full of gangs. But not scary, kill you gangs, like the Bloods or the Crips. These are more like, adorable gangs of fast-talking small children, like the Dead End Kids.

The world of webcraft is full of internet tough guys, but unlike real bullies they can't steal your lunch money or put gum in your hair.

All they can really do is rob you of your dignity, and if you had any of that you wouldn't be e-hiding under e-bridges like an internet troll to begin with.

Internet gangs are more like the gangs from West Side Story. Sure they may look mean and their combs turn into switchblades, but you're not very likely to get hurt. Unless you get hit by a deadly pas de bourrée.

If, like Tobias, you hire them to do your dirty work, you will most likely find yourself in the midst of an impromptu a capella blitz.

Which is not to say that a capella can't be every bit as horrifying as a hail of bullets (it certainly can), but until they perfect the gay bomb and the microwave auditory effect we are safe (for now).

Internet gangs are not lions, they are more like lemurs. They have sharp teeth and you wouldn't want to be stuck in a dark room with one, but as long as they're safely caged up you'll be fine.

All I'm saying is, there are worse things to be caught in than a dance fight. Just try a few spin moves and some sassy kicks and maybe you'll even end up on the winning team. And if you lose? Well you're fighting a bunch of flamers (no homo) in leotards and stirrups. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Bring It On - David Banner: (mp3)

Dance Dance - Plastic Bertrand: (mp3)

Humpty Dance - Digital Underground: (mp3)

Party Train - The Gap Band: (mp3)

Together For One Last Dance - Junior Senior: (mp3)

Molly Lambert is the managing editor of This Recording.

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING

Weekend links grew old with you.

The famous Molly Young makes new friends.

In the event of suicide.

In Which Sunday Links Drop The Hard Parcel Into The Swan Song We Are Waiting For

We have mixed feelings about fashion week. On one hand, it makes it feel better about ourselves because come on, these models don't look that great. I have nicer eyebrows than that betch.

From the New York Sun:

Only a few men within the Fashion Week force field were not as enthusiastic about the scene.

"No model has **ever** come up to my truck," a Mister Softee vendor on 41st Street said.

The gyro vendor next to him, Mohammed, was also having trouble making sales. "The models don't eat. Their bodyguards do," he said. Still, he would willingly date any of his willowy non-customers. "Even the ugliest from them, I am happy with," he said. Only Ahmed, a fruit vendor on West 40th Street, was pleased with the models' purchasing power. "They like peach, they like plum, orange, and nectarine. They appreciate my fruit," he said. He, in turn, appreciates them. "I am very happy because passing my street I see them and it's like a little festival. They're beautiful."

The clothing is for the most part dumb. You can see most of the collections here. Tell me if you see something you like and I will buy it for you.

"Neon Bible" -- Operation Bumblebee (Arcade Fire cover, mp3)

I admit that I don't know much about fashion, but I think that's for the best. A person needs at least one subject he can avoid without feeling bad about himself. For Jude Law, I think that subject was "morality."

If you see me in this outfit, I do not want to hear shit from you. Brother loves a sash!

The new Harold Pinter-Branage-Michael Caine-Jude movie looks borderline retarded.

Poor Madeleine L'Engle.

“A Wrinkle in Time” was rejected by 26 publishers before editors at Farrar, Straus & Giroux read it and enthusiastically accepted it. It proved to be her masterpiece, winning the John Newbery Medal as the best children’s book of 1963 and selling, so far, eight million copies. It is now in its 69th printing.

Hey, everybody gets rejected by somebody. 

"These Days Nothing But Sunshine" -- The Clientele (mp3)

"The Chills" -- Peter Bjorn & John (mp3)

"Start to Melt" -- Peter Bjorn & John (mp3)

Whale shot by machine gun.

Don't fuck with IKEA. 

Polygamists turf some peeps.

A cheese slide.

Wes Anderson and a naked Natalie Portman.

Largehearted Boy drops shorties. 

"Fitzcarraldo (live)" -- The Frames (mp3)

When your daughter does this to you, it would seem scary. 

Hilarious story from a Barack Obama parade:

I was at the parade with my family, as it's a Labor Day tradition in our town. I watched the Obama supports with disbelief. Leading the entourage were openly gay and lesbian supporters with "Impeach Bush/Cheney" signs, followed by what I would consider to be nearly every loony leftist from nearby Vermont.

As my wife and I stood with our two girls, who are both under 3 years old, an Obama supporter was breaking from the parade group to hand out Obama stickers. When the supporter approached us, she looked at my wife, who was wearing a Romney sticker on her shirt, then looked at me as I was wearing a Rudy sticker on my shirt. She then leaned down to my almost 3-year-old daughter, gave her an Obama sticker, and told her she needed to get new parents.

Unfortunately I was so shocked I had no time to react, but the sticker was quickly tossed into a nearby trash can.

Poor Nessa. 

Typefaces are 4 geeks.

Blank Forever's awesome mp3 page. 

Nude paintings we can all get behind.

Israeli neo-nazis? 

Here's a photoset I think we can all get behind.

Washinton DC indie-pop outfit Middle Distance Runner. (Veritas Lux Mea)

Create your own solar system.

Some simply tremendous Arcade Fire covers you will be wanting to download nowsy.

THE INTERNETS ALWAYS TAKE US BY SURPRISE

Good Weather for Airstrikes will always be the bestest.

Et Al.

Only the Blog Knows BK

The mp3 blog formerly known as Nothing Fails.

News from Soft Skull Press.

One Tired Ema.

It's Just The Anti-Depressant Talking.

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING

Tess' art got her laid.

My review of Once.

Molly covered the Vanessa Hudgens story in all its wonder and amusement.