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Disney's 10 Hottest Guys
by ALMIE ROSE
10. CAPTAIN HOOK (PETER PAN)
What? Sure, Hook’s chin is a little out of proportion with the rest of his crazy face, but I go for those Venice looking hipsters, of which Hook fits the bill: skinny bod, weird facial hair, funny hat. And those stockings? To die for. Plus Peter Pan was such a dick. Did that ten year old seriously have nothing better to do than antagonize a middle aged man with reptile issues? Asshole.
9. PRINCE PHILLIP (SLEEPING BEAUTY)
Prince Phillip really didn’t have much of a personality and he’s easily confused with Prince Charming, but he has a nice pompadour thing going on, looks great in red, and slain a fucking dragon so you have to give the guy some credit. He also didn’t balk when he saw Princess Aurora geeking out in the woods singing to a bunch of animals so that earns him props too.
8. THOMAS (THE NERDY GUY FROM POCAHONTAS VOICED BY CHRISTIAN BALE)
Captain “Sugar Tits” John Smith is too blonde and too Mel Gibson to ever be attractive but Thomas with his quiet, humble demeanor and sensitive poet persona is the guy for me. I’m not sure what you couldn’t fucking understand about this one.
7. JAFAR (ALADDIN)
He’s like Captain Hook without the hook, which is great because who really wants to deal with that hook? Jafar was cool because he had that snake staff and that gave him this Adam Ant edge. Just the whole flair for dress was very New Romantics. And his speech: so slow, so deliberate, so smooth. Yes, master!
6. PRINCE NAVEEN (THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG)
I haven’t even seen this film yet but this guy looks pretty sexy.
5. ROGER (ONE HUNDRED AND ONE DALMATIANS)
Roger had a good job and a great sense of style. He was a songwriter, he had nice hair, and I’d get tangled in his leash any time. I can never, ever say no to a man in sweater vests.
4. ALADDIN (ALADDIN)
Did you know that the inspiration for Aladdin was Tom Cruise, pre-crazy? Thankfully, Aladdin is a lot less manic but I was always a little uncomfortable by his lack of shirt. I get that he’s poor, but he really can’t cover his chest? It was all very confusing to me. Having him voiced by D.J. Tanner’s adorable boyfriend didn’t help matters either. I’d let him “One Jump” me.
3. BERT (MARY POPPINS)
Again, that tall, skinny physique really does it for me. And I do love a man with an accent, even if it’s a horrible mangled Bob’s Your Uncle hack job. Bert really knew how to let loose but you could tell that even though he was poor, he would never let the woman pay. Plus, he was a musician. That’s always sexy. I’d chim chimeny chim his cheree any time.
2. GASTON (BEAUTY AND THE BEAST)
He’s kind of a meathead in that he loves beer, hates to read, is especially good at expectorating, likes to kill stuff, and uses antlers in all of his decorating, but you can’t deny the guy’s ability to pull off a ponytail and leggings. Gaston had a sensitive side too; he was crushed when Belle, resident bookworm, didn’t want his swell cleffed-chin all to her own. “Dismissed, rejected, publicity humiliated,” he moans, “I’m a disgrace.” But how could he forget about his biceps to spare? And Gaston, unlike the beast, was never violent with her. Let’s just face it: Gaston is the best and the rest is the drips.
1. PRINCE ERIC (THE LITTLE MERMAID)
This blue-eyed bitch paved the way for Jon Hamm and James Franco. Prince Eric was caring, respectful, and handsome. Maybe it’s because he reminds me of a cartoon version of this guy I’ve been crushing on, but I think Prince Eric is the hottest Disney guy of all time. Of all time. Just don’t read the Prince Eric/Ariel rape fan fiction that’s out there. I wish I could pull the memory out of my brain and lock it in a seashell.
Almie Rose is the senior contributor to This Recording. She is a writer living in Los Angeles. She blogs here.
"The Circle of Life" - Elton John (mp3)
"Can You Feel The Love Tonight?" - Elton John (mp3)
"I Just Can't Wait" - Elton John (mp3)
Reader Comments (47)
Dude, your Prince Phillip picture is actually Prince Eric. I know, he's a hunk, but doesn't Phillip deserve some perverted love?
Roger is the man.
Sarah, no that's Prince Philip. Trust me, I have the Prince Eric one as my desktop. He even has an Ariel Tattoo!
Non-Disney Honorable Mention: Trent Lane from Daria
dimitri from anastasia! (though that's a non-disney, too. but still!)
Is Simba exempt cause he's a lion and all?
I always wanted to get together with Scar for a hot bang
My mom caught me singing a made up love song to Prince Eric while I was lying in bed aged 5 or 6 once ... not a good look.
so i was preeeeetty interested in those drawings and somehow ended up on that guys deviantart. most of them were not viewable to the non-deviantart-public...too risque? either way i was horribly upset. but i DID manage to see that he also does 'troy bolton' as a 'disney hero'. fan fucking tastic.
http://davidkawena.deviantart.com/art/Disney-Heroes-Troy-Bolton-112685433
wait-
http://davidkawena.deviantart.com/art/Disney-Heroes-Narnian-Kings-140050471
someone's probably gonna punch me in the face for this one........ but i'm gonna say it anyway: the chronic-WHAT-cles of narnia just made me jizz. in. my. pants.
(andy samberg- call me!)
Haha, LOVE the post. I agree withallofit! Thanks for sourcing me! Don't forget to tweet the link if you like it everyone!
Ack! You changed it!
whatd i change!
how could you possibly leave off the guy from Mulan?
please link the pictures of Aladdin and Prince Phillip to this guy: http://davidkawena.deviantart.com/
he deserves the right credit!
Calm down, cowboy. He's getting credit, I think she linked him. But I'm not claiming that I'm the artist. She just found them on my site. She's sourcing correctly.
Where is Prince Charming from "Cinderella"? I think he beats Captain Hook and Jafar...
Did someone say Trent Lane?
*SWOON*
Definite yes to Prince Naveen and Thomas. I loved Thomas!!
Brom Bones in Sleepy Hollow is pretty hot.
I wanna fuck Aladdin :D
I love me some Prince Eric, but its kinds weird that he looks exactly like the young version of my dad :P
Bert from Mary Poppins is actually the great Dick Van Dyke. Classy dude.
This probably ruins your fantasy, but my long-standing theory is that Bert is Mary Poppin's ex-husband; she divorced him because he was just too darned gay. (Literally. He didn't know he wasn't into chicks until after he got married.) She helped him realize this fact and they amicably split and remain the closest of friends. Go watch the part of the film where they go on the date to the penguin cafe. There are clues ALL OVER that scene.
(My post is for anyone who thinks Almie is as crazy as they come. Not even close!)
i think the Beast in his human form is pretty hot. i actually did a gasp the first time i saw him. Tarzan, pretty hot too.
omg what is up with the two naked guys wired
YES! I have ALWAYS said Prince Eric is the hottest! All my friends were always going for Aladdin, but Eric is the far superior prince.
ALADDIN ALL THE WAY!:)
What about Quasimodo? :D
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OMG i never even noticed that Thomas guy's hotness before!! yum yum yum :)
I think Prince Eric is quite the worthy winner to be honest! Though, I would have preferred a list of best females instead, ha ha :-)
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haha my sister and I had crushes on Thomas FOREVER!
If this weren't limited to Disney, I'd throw Dimitri (Dimitry) from Anastasia in the mix :)
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