« In Which We Enjoy Cocktail Hour At Disney »

Disney's 10 Hottest Guys

by ALMIE ROSE

10. CAPTAIN HOOK (PETER PAN)

What? Sure, Hook’s chin is a little out of proportion with the rest of his crazy face, but I go for those Venice looking hipsters, of which Hook fits the bill: skinny bod, weird facial hair, funny hat. And those stockings? To die for. Plus Peter Pan was such a dick. Did that ten year old seriously have nothing better to do than antagonize a middle aged man with reptile issues? Asshole.

from here

9. PRINCE PHILLIP (SLEEPING BEAUTY)

Prince Phillip really didn’t have much of a personality and he’s easily confused with Prince Charming, but he has a nice pompadour thing going on, looks great in red, and slain a fucking dragon so you have to give the guy some credit. He also didn’t balk when he saw Princess Aurora geeking out in the woods singing to a bunch of animals so that earns him props too.

8. THOMAS (THE NERDY GUY FROM POCAHONTAS VOICED BY CHRISTIAN BALE)

Captain “Sugar Tits” John Smith is too blonde and too Mel Gibson to ever be attractive but Thomas with his quiet, humble demeanor and sensitive poet persona is the guy for me. I’m not sure what you couldn’t fucking understand about this one.

7. JAFAR (ALADDIN)

He’s like Captain Hook without the hook, which is great because who really wants to deal with that hook? Jafar was cool because he had that snake staff and that gave him this Adam Ant edge. Just the whole flair for dress was very New Romantics. And his speech: so slow, so deliberate, so smooth. Yes, master!

6. PRINCE NAVEEN (THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG)

I haven’t even seen this film yet but this guy looks pretty sexy.

5. ROGER (ONE HUNDRED AND ONE DALMATIANS)

Roger had a good job and a great sense of style. He was a songwriter, he had nice hair, and I’d get tangled in his leash any time. I can never, ever say no to a man in sweater vests.

4. ALADDIN (ALADDIN)

Did you know that the inspiration for Aladdin was Tom Cruise, pre-crazy? Thankfully, Aladdin is a lot less manic but I was always a little uncomfortable by his lack of shirt. I get that he’s poor, but he really can’t cover his chest? It was all very confusing to me. Having him voiced by D.J. Tanner’s adorable boyfriend didn’t help matters either.  I’d let him “One Jump” me.

3. BERT (MARY POPPINS)

Again, that tall, skinny physique really does it for me. And I do love a man with an accent, even if it’s a horrible mangled Bob’s Your Uncle hack job. Bert really knew how to let loose but you could tell that even though he was poor, he would never let the woman pay. Plus, he was a musician. That’s always sexy. I’d chim chimeny chim his cheree any time.

2. GASTON (BEAUTY AND THE BEAST)

He’s kind of a meathead in that he loves beer, hates to read, is especially good at expectorating, likes to kill stuff, and uses antlers in all of his decorating, but you can’t deny the guy’s ability to pull off a ponytail and leggings. Gaston had a sensitive side too; he was crushed when Belle, resident bookworm, didn’t want his swell cleffed-chin all to her own. “Dismissed, rejected, publicity humiliated,” he moans, “I’m a disgrace.” But how could he forget about his biceps to spare? And Gaston, unlike the beast, was never violent with her. Let’s just face it: Gaston is the best and the rest is the drips.

1. PRINCE ERIC (THE LITTLE MERMAID)

This blue-eyed bitch paved the way for Jon Hamm and James Franco. Prince Eric was caring, respectful, and handsome. Maybe it’s because he reminds me of a cartoon version of this guy I’ve been crushing on, but I think Prince Eric is the hottest Disney guy of all time. Of all time. Just don’t read the Prince Eric/Ariel rape fan fiction that’s out there. I wish I could pull the memory out of my brain and lock it in a seashell.

Almie Rose is the senior contributor to This Recording. She is a writer living in Los Angeles. She blogs here.

"The Circle of Life" - Elton John (mp3)

"Can You Feel The Love Tonight?" - Elton John (mp3)

"I Just Can't Wait" - Elton John (mp3)

Comments

[Sarah]

Dude, your Prince Phillip picture is actually Prince Eric. I know, he's a hunk, but doesn't Phillip deserve some perverted love?

[Amanda]

Roger is the man.

[me]

Sarah, no that's Prince Philip. Trust me, I have the Prince Eric one as my desktop. He even has an Ariel Tattoo!

[Nicole]

Non-Disney Honorable Mention: Trent Lane from Daria

[durga]

dimitri from anastasia! (though that's a non-disney, too. but still!)

[doublenegative]

Is Simba exempt cause he's a lion and all?

[Alex]

I always wanted to get together with Scar for a hot bang

[Hannah]

My mom caught me singing a made up love song to Prince Eric while I was lying in bed aged 5 or 6 once ... not a good look.

[Geniveve]

so i was preeeeetty interested in those drawings and somehow ended up on that guys deviantart. most of them were not viewable to the non-deviantart-public...too risque? either way i was horribly upset. but i DID manage to see that he also does 'troy bolton' as a 'disney hero'. fan fucking tastic.

http://davidkawena.deviantart.com/art/Disney-Heroes-Troy-Bolton-112685433

[Geniveve]

wait-

http://davidkawena.deviantart.com/art/Disney-Heroes-Narnian-Kings-140050471

someone's probably gonna punch me in the face for this one........ but i'm gonna say it anyway: the chronic-WHAT-cles of narnia just made me jizz. in. my. pants.

(andy samberg- call me!)

[Mimilainna]

Haha, LOVE the post. I agree withallofit! Thanks for sourcing me! Don't forget to tweet the link if you like it everyone!

[Sarah]

Ack! You changed it!

[Mimilainna]

whatd i change!

[S]

how could you possibly leave off the guy from Mulan?

[C]

please link the pictures of Aladdin and Prince Phillip to this guy: http://davidkawena.deviantart.com/
he deserves the right credit!

[Mimilainna]

Calm down, cowboy. He's getting credit, I think she linked him. But I'm not claiming that I'm the artist. She just found them on my site. She's sourcing correctly.

[IpreferAngie]

Where is Prince Charming from "Cinderella"? I think he beats Captain Hook and Jafar...

[naibot]

Did someone say Trent Lane?
*SWOON*

[Whit]

Definite yes to Prince Naveen and Thomas. I loved Thomas!!

[Molly]

Brom Bones in Sleepy Hollow is pretty hot.

[Peter]

I wanna fuck Aladdin :D

[Rose]

I love me some Prince Eric, but its kinds weird that he looks exactly like the young version of my dad :P

[laidbacklemon]

Bert from Mary Poppins is actually the great Dick Van Dyke. Classy dude.

[Jeff]

This probably ruins your fantasy, but my long-standing theory is that Bert is Mary Poppin's ex-husband; she divorced him because he was just too darned gay. (Literally. He didn't know he wasn't into chicks until after he got married.) She helped him realize this fact and they amicably split and remain the closest of friends. Go watch the part of the film where they go on the date to the penguin cafe. There are clues ALL OVER that scene.

(My post is for anyone who thinks Almie is as crazy as they come. Not even close!)

[trish]

i think the Beast in his human form is pretty hot. i actually did a gasp the first time i saw him. Tarzan, pretty hot too.

[cooldude2538]

omg what is up with the two naked guys wired

[Pasha]

YES! I have ALWAYS said Prince Eric is the hottest! All my friends were always going for Aladdin, but Eric is the far superior prince.

[laceylynnshort]

ALADDIN ALL THE WAY!:)

[Me]

What about Quasimodo? :D

[moncler Boutique]

Many people like moncler
and many people buy the moncler from moncler Boutique.
Do you want to buy a moncler pas cher?
Our website gives you this chance. You can buy the discount moncler prix
from our website. If you want to buy a replica moncler soldes
you also can come to our website. Cheap moncler paris
online sale. Discount moncler polo
on sale. The beautiful moncler veste
keep you warm in cold winter.Wear the moncler doudoune
is a good choice in winter. We all know Pair moncler homme
is the most fashion especially Pair moncler femme. Have a doudoune moncler femme
like Pair people make us more beautiful.
Buy a dicount doudoune moncler homme
is a good idea now. If you like doudoune femme
we also provide. I like the doudoune homme
best because wear it makes me looks more slimer.
You can buy a
Moncler Gilet to wear inside.

[ugg]

If you are a person to see Ugg Boots| fashion bar this winter Cheap Ugg Boots| pandora| essential for a variety of styles with many styles replica watches| you will look rolex replicas| definitely look at this like christian louboutin uk| and most popular thomas sabo

[oralia89]

Here are Evening Dresses,cheap Wigs,wholesale prom dresses website. These are some of the top websites online.Robe de Soiree,Cosplay Sale

[Alex]

OMG i never even noticed that Thomas guy's hotness before!! yum yum yum :)

[James Smith]

I think Prince Eric is quite the worthy winner to be honest! Though, I would have preferred a list of best females instead, ha ha :-)

Yours Faithfully,

James from lawn sweeper

[spyder jackets]

Spyder jackets are vital to keep your body warm and homelike during winter sports activities. Look for waterproof spyder ski wear,spyder pants for your nice grip

[Ugg boots]

Chirstmas is coming.Maybe you are be troubled by how to choose gift.UGG boots can be a good choice.As a world wide famous brand.UGG sale is loved by lots of people.UGG sale boots can express your best wishes for family and friend.UGG boots sales can keep you warm and fashion in cold winter.

[Coach Handbags]

This blog is cool.

No Doubt! your blog contain very useful information.

Great blog article about this topic, I have been lately in your blog once or t

[omega replicas]

Chirstmas is comingDesigner Handbags rolex replica watches </p>Replica Omega watches 

[Cheap Nike Air Max]

Cheap Nike Air Max
Cheap Cell phone
China Cell phone
Cheap Nike Shoes

[ray ban]

ray ban sunglasses ray ban ray ban sale
ray ban sunglasses ray ban sunglasses ray ban sale
ray ban sunglasses ray ban sale ray ban sale
ray ban sunglasses ray ban uk ray ban sale

[anon]

haha my sister and I had crushes on Thomas FOREVER!

If this weren't limited to Disney, I'd throw Dimitri (Dimitry) from Anastasia in the mix :)

[nike free run]

Nike Free 3.0
Nike Free 7.0
Cheap Nike Free Run
Nike Lunar Glide
Cheap Nike Lunar
Nike Lunar
Nike LunarGlide
Vibram Five Fingers
Vibram Five Fingers Shoes
Vibram Five Fingers Bikila
Vibram Five Fingers KSO
Nike Free Run
Nike Free 5.0
Jerseys Sale
NFL Jerseys Wholesale
nfl jerseys
NHL Jerseys
cheap nfl jerseys
polo
Nike Free Running Shoes
Free Running Training
Discount Oakley Sunglasses
Cheap Ray-Ban Sunglasses
Sun Glasses
Jerseys For Sale
Louboutin Shoes
Louboutin Boots
Cheap Louboutin Shoes
Mbt Outlet
Discount Mbt
Mbt Shoes Cheap
edhardy
Low Price Stitched Reebok NHL Jerseys
Hockey Jerseys and Ice Hockey Jerseys
Christian Louboutin Pumps

[katie]

Seriously, Gaston?
And no Beast?

[where to buy jerseys]

happy to come here and see it

[nba jerseys]

We are one of the best NBA jerseys shops online, a wide range of NBA jerseys are
offered , welcome to choose your favorite NBA Jerseys.
www.jerseysfornba.org

[Perry]

Granted they're anthropomorphized, but that's already been broached (Uncle Scar, natch). What about Robin Hood And Basil of Baker Street? (Also, Prince Phil had personality for, like, five seconds, when you're introduced to him and his awesome horse.) I'm also a tad surprised Kronk (The Emperor's New Groove) didn't make the list, since he's a meathead who is dedicated and submissive to his mistress, but also goodhearted and a friend to animals.

[Jamie]

FYI, your Naveen picture got replaced by chairs.