« In Which We Only Give Away Money To Kickstarters For Smart Watches »

Any Way That You Want Him

by DICK CHENEY

Breaking Bad
creator Vince Gilligan

Walter White (Bryan Cranston) has recently been exposed for the first time. Some of the people that he knows know some of the things he did, other people know others of the things he did, one or two people know a few of the things he did.

it's called a garage beard and it is fantastic

No one knows everything, but Walt's brother-in-the-law could now list the vast majority of Walter White's murders, but he could not possibly detail them all. "If that's true," Walter tells Hank as the last episodes of AMC's Breaking Bad unfold, "if you don't know who I am, then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly." He obviously has not seen Hank on Under the Dome.

sic the child on him Walt, protect yr family
For some reason it is far more disappointing to watch the protagonist of Breaking Bad lie than it is to watch him kill someone. Each moment he used deadly violence as a means of communication, we know in our hearts that Walt had no other choice. Even when he poisoned a child with the byproduct of a rare plant, he had a moral ground from which to operate. Did you ever read Kissinger's autobiography? It wasn't full of apologies.

staring away from someone and looking mad is an entire class at Juillard
His ex-partner Jesse Pinkman stands on no such firmament. Watching him redistribute his wealth made me physically ill, just as I become sick to my stomach from the Nazi references in The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar. Giving away your money to make yourself feel better about things you have done is fiction's second oldest cliche after Leonardo DiCaprio talking very quickly in a loud voice.

never get seafood at the Dog House, you will regret your choice

The sad thing about Jesse Pinkman's current existence is that it's about a million times more exciting than mine. He hung out with his friends, and went to pick up some hot dogs. That sounded fantastic. Then he gave a bum $10,000. If you really want to give money to people who deserve it, flush it down the toilet, because whoever makes that disappear is a magician who deserves to be compensated. Or go on Bandcamp with some earplugs.

Aaron Paul's acting has been reduced to its most basic component. His skull ensconced in skin now looks like Mr. Potato Head, and his eyes, as usual, do about 90 percent of the work:

that was voyager

His only morality is that he does not obey the rules of others, which is a very good morality indeed. Paul's general approach to playing the character of Jesse Pinkman has never bothered me before now, but the constant eye rolling, the peripatetic motions of his tongue and mouth and the staring as a substitute for meaningful response to stimuli does not scream spin-off to me. I was really hoping this would all end with Jesse turning into the new Sam from Cheers but that hope dims every time he tries to expose or apologize for his past. If Ted Danson can walk around with his hairline, so can you Aaron.

jeez walt just shave your head and pretend you have cancer, we've all done it

The number three cliche in scriptwriting is of course showing the end before the beginning. With his ginger hair growing in and his live free or die apparel, Future Walt resembles a tea party adherent who has been infected with Simon Pegg's DNA. His trunk full of guns holds no interest for us, since shooting people has never been Walt's metier.

did not personally find Leaves of Grass all that affecting

Presumably Future Walt has been given leave by Hank to flee. The people Future Walt is now running from are more likely to be his old partners than the law.

This hokey past/present set-up has taken some of the juice out of the season until now. Walt has returned to Albuquerque to reclaim his secret poison, and we are meant to wonder who exactly will be his target. Lydia seems too obvious, and her definition of business casual too restrictive to perish in such a scenario.

lydia your sense of style was unencumbered by the birth of your child and I respect that immensely

More likely he finally has to put Jesse out of his bliss. Even Mr. Pinkman has never fathomed Walt's ways completely. In not-so-subtle fashion he tries to get Walt to convince him that Mike is alive somewhere, that the only friend he made in this sordid business was not also consumed by it. Walt composes himself on Jesse's couch, thinking in his head that it is time for one more good lie before he tells the truth.

Dick Cheney is the senior contributor to This Recording. He is a writer living in an undisclosed location and the former vice president of the United States of America. You can find an archive of his writing on This Recording here. He last wrote in these pages about touching under the dome.

Walt never saw a bong before this moment, he was shocked by this device

"Any Way That You Want Me (Troggs cover)" - Spiritualized (mp3)

"I Think I'm In Love" - Spiritualized (mp3)