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Pretty used to being with Gwyneth

Regrets that her mother did not smoke

Frank in all directions

Jean Cocteau and Jean Marais

Simply cannot go back to them

Roll your eyes at Samuel Beckett

John Gregory Dunne and Joan Didion

Metaphors with eyes

Life of Mary MacLane

Circle what it is you want

Not really talking about women, just Diane

Felicity's disguise

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Tuesday
Dec302014
in

« In Which We Ascend To That Mall In The Sky »

DateTuesday, December 30, 2014 at 11:55AM

Skymall Surprise

by MIA NGUYEN

The infamous SkyMall magazine reaffirms the notion that we love on a world of excess. Here are a few gems to look out for in the spring catalog.

 

Jolly Rancher Landscape

Jolly Rancher Chandelier
Light Up Your Life
$1,800

- Made of gilded iron with cascading chains of Jolly Rancher candy

- 1,000 60-Watt bulbs

- Professional installation required

- This product is not available for international shipping

Disco Book Lamp Landscape copy

Disco Magic Clip-on Book Light
Brighter Pages, Better Comprehension
$25.00

- Transform your regular night reading experience into a fountain of fun

- 20 flashy colors

- Solar powered

- Sustainable aka "eco-chic"

Parrot Beak Shakers Landscape

Parrot Beak Salt & Pepper Shakers
Season Smarter
$29.99

- Minimal parrot beak design to match any kitchen decor

- Meticulously hand-crafted and painted

- Does not clog like most shakers

- No Animals Were Harmed

Etch A Sketch Landscape

Scarface Quotes Etch A Sketch
Shake It Until You Make It
$59.99

- Preset with 100 quotes from the 1983 film

- Easy to use

- Lifetime warranty

Malapropism Shower Landscape

 

Malapropism Shower Curtain
Treat Yourself Real Nice
$45.85

- Cute malapropism

- Conversation starter for guests using your bathroom

- Vibrant and cool as hell

- 100% polyester

- Liner not included

Ginger Ale Car Freshener

Ginger Ale Car Freshener
Keep Ridin'
$1.99

- Leave passengers sniffing like a dog

- Intense, long-lasting scent

- Semi-pleasant

- An acquired taste

- Lady-killer

Croissant Scented Socks

Croissant Scented Socks
The Parisian Experience
$7.50/each

- Vintage

- 80% cotton

- 20% encrusted croissant flakes

- Left and right pairs sold separately

- Machine wash cold; hang to dry

- Limited edition

Mia Nguyen is the features editor of This Recording. She is a writer living in Rhode Island. You can find her website here.

"Of The Sea" - Bride & Groom (mp3)

"Blackbird in a Cage" - Bride & Groom (mp3)

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