In Which We Upgrade And Or Totally Ruin Your Next Social Gathering
Black Swan: The Party Game
by MOLLY LAMBERT with contributions from TESS LYNCH and SARAH JOHNSON
In case you haven't seen Black Swan, reading this reveals and ruin nothing. The party game is simple; all things can be paired up and divided into white swans and black swans. White swans have technique but black swans have essential style. The white swan is the brain, the black swan is the crotch. Not every facemash splits this way but it sure wasn't hard to come up with like a billion of these in ten minutes with friends.
As with Fuck Marry Kill, the thing about this game is that it becomes dangerous as soon as you start directing it to people's personal black swans, which inevitably always happens. Drunk people have a tendency to be more honest than they really intended to. As soon as you start talking about people in the room at the party you are fucked.
But aren't all parlor games kind of dangerous/purposely meant to encourage relational transgressions? Isn't that also why people drink? God knows spin the bottle is built for destruction. It's easy to be the black swan that pushes other people into playing. Who wants to go to a party where nothing happens? What, you never rolled before?
White Swan/Black Swan
Madonna/Debbie Harry
Debbie Harry/Chrissie Hynde
Diana Ross/Donna Summer
Michael Jackson/Prince
Prince/Rick James
Luke Skywalker/Han Solo
Judd Apatow/Adam Sandler
Jackie O/Marilyn Monroe
Seth Rogen/Jason Segel
Jonah Hill/Danny McBride
Elvis/Little Richard (original black swan queen)
Joe Strummer/Joey Ramone
Belinda Carlisle/Cyndi Lauper
Emmylou Harris/Linda Ronstadt
Rachel Weisz/Marion Cotillard
George Clooney/Jon Hamm
the 60s/the 70s
Conan/Letterman
Thomas Pynchon/Kurt Vonnegut
Dreamworks/Pixar
Beatles/Stones
Coke/Pepsi
Steven Spielberg/Joe Dante
Joni Mitchell/Carly Simon
American Idol/X Factor
Betty/Veronica
Debbie Gibson/Tiffany
Lily Allen/Katy Perry
Drake/Lil Wayne
Taylor Swift/Miley Cyrus
Selena Gomez/Demi Lovato
Gwyneth Paltrow/Winona Ryder
Blair Waldorf/Serena van der Woodsen
Jack Kerouac/Neal Cassady
John Mayer (musician)/John Mayer (celebrity)
Adam Trask/Charles Trask
Fitzgerald/Hemingway
Kathleen Hanna/Courtney Love
David Bowie/Iggy Pop
John Cale/Lou Reed
Mick/Keef
Superman/Batman
black and white/color
Dakota Fanning/Taylor Momsen
David Byrne/Bryan Ferry
Philip Glass/Brian Eno
Sean Penn/Robert Downey Jr.
Brad Pitt/Johnny Depp
Oprah/Martha Stewart
Paul/John
sight/sound
2Pac/Makaveli
The OC/Gossip Girl
Elton John/Jeff Lynne
TRL Xtina/TRL Britney
TRL Britney/Pink Wig Britney
Gaga/Robyn
Fat Joe/Big Pun
Green Day/Blink 182
David Foster Wallace/Jonathan Franzen
Bernard Malamud/Saul Bellow
Saul Bellow/Philip Roth
John Cheever/John Updike
Steve Martin/Chevy Chase
Dan Ackroyd/Bill Murray
Bill Murray/Andy Kaufman
Lindsey Buckingham/Don Henley
Robert Redford/Warren Beatty
Warren Beatty/Jack Nicholson
Gregory Peck/Marlon Brando
Marlon Brando/James Dean
The Graduate/Carnal Knowledge
Thoureau/Emerson
Emerson/Whitman
Pacino/De Niro
John Malkovich/Christopher Walken
Emilio Estevez/Charlie Sheen
Meryl Streep/Susan Sarandon
Angela Chase/Rayanne Graff
Townes Van Zandt/John Prine
Godfather/Godfather II
Freaks And Geeks/Undeclared
Loudon Wainwright III/Warren Zevon
Warren Zevon/Tom Petty
Harry Nilsson/Randy Newman
Eric Clapton/George Harrison
Tyra Banks/Naomi Campbell
the 90s/the 00s
showers/baths
Harvest/On The Beach
Rumours/Tusk
Tina Fey/Amy Poehler
Leonardo DiCaprio/Matt Damon
Matt Damon/Ben Affleck
Priscilla Presley/Ann Margaret
Betty Draper/whoever Don Draper is banging
Tom Sawyer/Huck Finn
David Gordon Green/Jody Hill
David O. Russell/Paul Thomas Anderson
Paul Thomas Anderson/Coen Brothers
Christopher Nolan/Darren Aronofsky
Darren Aronofsky/David Fincher
Madonna/Young Madonna
Molly Lambert is the managing editor of This Recording. She is a writer living in Los Angeles. She tumbls here and twitters here.
"The Passenger" - Iggy Pop (mp3)
"China Girl" - David Bowie (mp3)
"Under Pressure" - Queen ft. David Bowie (mp3)