THE PAST « In Which Weeks Pass As We Carve Your Epitaph »
Sunday, August 16, 2009 at 9:18AM 
The Week in Review
We all have an image of ourselves that we keep in our mind. Usually I look like Tom Brady; sometimes I look like Jeff Garlin, but usually when I'm drinking I feel a lot like Christy Turlington. After a tough week you want to kick back and be someone else for awhile. Eventually virtuals will allow us to experience things we never could before. I've been looking to find out what it feels like to be 30 IQ points lower and hitting my head on the pavement didn't seem like the best option. Soon I will become Christy Turlington, sooner probably than you think.
Until then, enjoy being these people, and consider adopting their opinions as your own.
I wonder what Christy's doing now. Not like in her life, more what she's doing right now at this moment. Sometimes when I'm peeping into Tom Brady's inner life I realize that it's not that different from mine, which scares me to my core. We both wanted to knock up Bridget Moynahan; only one of us got the job done.
- Eleanor asked if Funny People was actually funny.
- Georgia reviewed Charlyne Yi's Paper Heart.
- Yvonne chronicled the drought's effect on Texas.
Christy to me is the perfect model because she's not so attractive that I couldn't imagine settling down and watching three or four episodes of How I Met Your Mother with her. By the way, I heard they cast Kat Dennings as those kids' mom. Sorry kids.
- Eleanor tackled the brilliance of Jules Dassin.
- Molly mourned the passing of John Hughes in his own words.
- Steven educated us about the vicissitudes of Berlin.
Christy also aged very well, which can't be said of the vast majority of her peers. Have you seen Cindy Crawford lately?
- Owen Roberts discussed Robert Ware and literary forgeries.
- Alex reviewed the import of Michael Swanwick.
- Herman Melville and Nathaniel Hawthorne drank of one another deeply.
Yeah, Cindy doesn't look so great, but she had a terrific run. Remember when she let one of the Baldwins get all over her in some TV movie? That was the most erotic 90 seconds of my life at the time.
- Almie introduced you to the wonderful world of Mad Peaks.
- Molly reviewed the devastating enviromental impact of the summer wind.
- Eleanor's journey with In A Lonely Place.
You can find the last Week in Review here.
"My Boys" - Taken By Trees (mp3)
"Anna" - Taken by Trees ft. Panda Bear (mp3)
"Tidens Gang" - Taken By Trees (mp3)
"Greyest Love of All" - Taken by Trees (mp3)
Reader Comments (3)
Auld school! But srsly. I think Cindy Crawford looks good enough (importunate photo-assassinations notwithstanding) to make considering her actual qualities as a human a painless duty; if only the same were true of we of the shovel-footed, hairy-backed and ball-dangling variety. Men are ugly (we compensate by killing shit). Even handsome men merely look like grotesque women, but I've come to accept this about us.
For the filmic version of this comment go:
fake real fake
Some day, you will put up some Emerson Lake & Palmer mp3s. :D
Confusion...will be my epitaph
As I cross a cracked and broken path
If we make it, we can all sit back and laugh.
ELP (From the Beginning, Lucky Man), early King Crimson (Ladies of the Road), Jethro Tull (Living in the Past, One White Duck, Skating Away)... I'm all about these sonic-lava-lamp supergroups of the last great decade of Secular Humanism in the West. Actually, Ladies of the Road (about a sub-hygienic groupie demanding oral sex) doesn't really fit with the others...