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Pretty used to being with Gwyneth

Regrets that her mother did not smoke

Frank in all directions

Jean Cocteau and Jean Marais

Simply cannot go back to them

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Metaphors with eyes

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Entries in steve martin (3)

Tuesday
Jun262012

In Which They Stand At The Vanishing Point

You can find the first part of this series here.

Smile If It Hurts

by ALICIA PUGLIONESI

The actor Steve Martin is not a dentist in that he doesn't have a degree in dentistry. He's done other things, like playing the banjo and writing some books. But he is actually also a dentist, in the abstract sense, in his soul.

Who am I to make this diagnosis? In our culture dentistry has certain connotations. For awhile people thought it was funny to say that dentists had the highest suicide rate of any profession. The idea is that they have traded their souls for the hollow trappings of upper-middle-class leisure. They buy boats that they name “Bicuspid Barge” or “Tooth Ferry" and then they end it all.

Towards the dawn of his filmic career Steve Martin played a dentist. It was 1986, he was ebulliently sadistic and brutal, his oiled brown locks tossed across his forehead, strutting down a nightmare sterile white medical hallway – at the same time wicked and sadly cheap. Martin's character was undone by his own diabolical weaknesses, but before that part of the film we get to see him gyrating and yanking gleefully. Perhaps the character of Orin Scrivello, D.D.S. in Little Shop of Horrors wasn't scripted with much in the way of psychological complexity, but his air of reckless abandon bespeaks an inner void. The emotional numbness that allows him to so profitably inflict pain also forestalls genuine human connection. He suffers an unhappy fate, the fate of a dentist.

The impossibility of genuine human connection is a big thing – problems with intimacy – a generational thing that has eclipsed neurosis, the generational thing of an earlier generation. But dentists were having that problem from the beginning. The invention of dental anesthesia drove at least three men to miserable, lonely deaths. This is the foundational dilemma of dentistry: visceral proximity, emotional remove. The dentist stands at the vanishing point where you slip out of consciousness or become enveloped by your own pain.

Fifteen years later Steve Martin played a dentist again. Again, he did dark and dangerous things that lay waste to our culture's cheery faith in modern medicine. This faith conflates medical, moral, and aesthetic authority. It exists to be luridly violated, both in fiction and in life.

It might be a peculiarly American pathology, at least American in origin. Frank Norris's fictional dentist McTeague was a gold miner, then an (unlicensed) dentist, then a gold miner again. A burly, stupid man with a desire to rise in the world (this related perhaps to the ministrations of his saintly mother and the beatings of his alcoholic father). His dingy dental parlor above the local post office exudes “a mingled odor of bedding, creosote, and ether.” He fantasizes about a “huge gilded tooth, a molar with enormous prongs” that would mark his hoped-for dental empire. When the giant gold tooth actually materializes, a gift from McTeague's lottery-winning girlfriend, his feelings towards it become increasingly sexual.

McTeague is billed as “A Story of San Francisco,” which is to say, a story of the end of the world. McTeague the dentist dies in, yes, Death Valley, handcuffed to the body of his friend whom he has just murdered. This novel, about tooth-fetishism, gold-mania, and other American fixations, was published in 1898. It reflected back upon a century when humans began to gain mastery over the appearance of their teeth – just another destabilizing development in a stable of modern woes.

Erich von Stroheim's 1924 film version of McTeague

That century, the nineteenth, began with American teeth in a predictably sorry state. Physiognomy, the art of reading character from signs on the body, taught people that ugly teeth signaled an ugly soul. However, fluoride had not been discovered. Dentists stepped up during this century, with the aid of new technologies, from their place as lowly craftsmen to a role as professional arbiters of beauty and pain. Gross transgressions of propriety proliferated during the murky middle decades: the invention of dental anesthesia meant that patients lay inert at the mercy of strangers in seedy fly-by-night dental parlors. Many women refused to visit the dentist without their husbands or fathers present.

Naturally dentists of a nobler character were outraged by the exploits of their low-class compatriots. They put in place certain professional safeguards, bodies of oversight, regulation, and enforcement. Through strenuous efforts of self-policing, they gained admittance to the white-tiled halls of proper medicine. It was a long process. By mid-twentieth-century, you would not barter chickens with your dentist, you would not accuse your dentist of picking your pockets, and you would not tell your dentist what was best – all things that had formerly been more or less the case.

In the 1920s, the newly-formed National Dental Association (NDA) became very interested in immigrants, good people to be interested in if you're looking to flex your tenuous authority. The dentists argued for a causal relationship between clean, straight teeth and clean, straight living; in studies on immigrant children, they claimed that poor dental health and failure to visit the dentist produced bad behavior in school. Bad behavior, disobedience, urban unrest, the radical politics of the underclasses: all became conflated in the new propaganda of dental hygiene. Good-looking teeth made good citizens. Dentists were the gatekeepers of assimilation. They made themselves necessary and this was highly profitable.

Toothbrush brigade, an initiative of the Long Beach Dental Society's “Save the Teeth” campaign of 1950.

Maneuvers for indispensability are a sign of unstable ground. The dentist triumphant, sorting the good citizens from the bad, soon became a supremely compromised figure. Dentists in literature of the 1950s and beyond were somewhat less than heroic. The dentist in Updike's Couples is a foul man, impotent, greedy, “obsessed with decay.” E.L. Doctorow's Book of Daniel features a “leering dentist” in the role of selfish betrayer. Philip Roth has a go at the profession: Henry Zuckerman in The Counterlife is another sorry specimen, weakly cheating on his wife with his dental hygienist. These were decades of surfaces, facades, crowns and bridges hiding unspeakable things, unnameable discontents. As in centuries past, the dentist was an ambassador of the corruption of the material body, with the suspect power to conceal it at will. He might bear within him any number of squeamish truths about humanity's inner rot, which would rot him too, in turn. It was not a thing for polite people to think or talk about.

Our inner rot is of course also the stuff of psychoanalysis, a thing that Americans in the 1950s found both scandalous and irresistible. Is psychoanalysis just dentistry by another name? Thomas Pynchon, in the guise of Dudley Eigenvalue, D.D.S., argues that it is. The novel V. features this persistent psychodontist staking his claim as a repository for necessary truths: "psychoanalysis had usurped from the priesthood the role of father-confessor. Now, it seemed, the analyst in his turn was about to be deposed by...the dentist." Usurpation for the sake of reclaiming a birthright is a legally murky area.

McTeague's innocent-enough golden molar – innocent, at least, in the purity and simplicity of its perversion – is a thing of the past by the 60s, and we have instead Pynchon's Golden Fang, a murky dental cartel that controls Los Angeles with invisible strings. The novel Inherent Vice is set in a drug-saturated 1969 – men in a white coats with yachts inspire paroxysms of paranoia. Nevertheless, it is “a bunch of honkey dentists,” the Golden Fang syndicate, who ultimately supply the dope. They deal simultaneously in the drug trade and the rehabilitation trade; they are gatekeepers of a revolving door that promises an escape from the system followed by court-mandated reintegration into the system. They own a schooner of ambiguous provenance.

Such is the broad sweep of dentistry – from golden molar to Golden Fang, from laughing gas to psychodontia. Pynchon of course wrestles with the spirit or spirits of the age, swinging for entire centuries. But where do these cosmic shifts leave an individual answering the call of oral hygiene? What remains for a dentist who just wants to do his or her job, and lead his or her life, in a quiet eddy of history? These are congenitally unhappy men and women, popular culture tells us. For them it is either boredom or pain. Both dentist-Steve-Martins are deeply sad, both of his dentist films would be categorized as “dark satire.” In middle age, though, the sadness is below the skin – slow-dawning despair.

Novocaine is not the only fictional treatment of dentistry in which a dentist extracts all of his own teeth. It's not the only treatment of dentists as drug-pushers or dentists as sad men who cheat on their wives. You do not need to be a dentist to have a ridiculous affair with a character played by Helena Bonham Carter. The joke isn't even that it goes so far, that you see the mundanity of a dentist's life unspool while he remains the same uninteresting dentist. "Lying is like tooth decay," dentist-Steve Martin says in the voice-over narration. That's the joke: a tidy moral. He knows that it is a small, feeble way of making sense of the world. We replace philosophy with something that is sort of a science, sort of a healing art, sort of an anesthetic.

Alicia Puglionesi is the senior contributor to This Recording. She is a writer living in Baltimore. You can find an archive of her writing on This Recording here. She last wrote in these pages about Margery KempeShe tumbls here.

"Clear the Room" - Guv'ner (mp3)

"Baby's Way Cruel" - Guv'ner (mp3)

"Cameo (Version)" - Guv'ner (mp3)

 

Thursday
May272010

In Which No One's Dad In Real Life Looks Like Peter Krause

Braving It With the Family

by QICHEN ZHANG

Maybe if we didn't allow him to wear a pirate costume to school, he would fit in a little bit better.

Parenthood's Adam Braverman, played by Peter Krause

Television's always been slow to pick up on parental irony. I probably wouldn't find Adam Braverman's delivery of a banal line so guffaw-worthy otherwise. To segue the family TV genre into a wholesomely sarcastic direction, NBC's new show Parenthood rallies Krause and a diverse cast (diverse meaning Joy Bryant as the token black character) in an attempt to portray real-to-life family issues without any syrupy ethical undertones, without any cultish evangelist propaganda, and — most importantly — without the sixties hair.

TV is so avant-garde these days.

To catch up, one sentence sums up the plot — a family living in Berkeley headed by a grandfather/grandmother couple with four smaller nuclear families living in northern California maneuvers around the tensions of their criss-crossing relationships. At face value, the show sounds mundane at best, a contemporary American Dreams at worst. With mostly B-list actors who peaked in movies with titles like Let's Go to Prison and How to Rob a Bank, the cast's potential to depict domestically-oriented characters seem initially dubious as well. But after giving it a chance, I realized that throwing a Berkeley hippie into the mix would've just complicated the weird, almost-incestuous, boyfriend-sharing debacle that pops up in later episodes of this falsely tame debut. NBC. Who could've guessed?

But isn't this northern California? Scandals don't create Parenthood's entertainment value. Instead, the show relies on character quirks for its draw. Even though the Braverman clan appears as though the members came out of an assembly line at the perfect-All-American-family factory, the script takes surprisingly humorous digs at the paradigms of kin.

Juggling both a son with Asperger's Syndrome and a teenager daughter who just started shopping at Victoria's Secret, Adam's bottle-blond wife Kristina (Monica Potter) acts as the doting and patient mother until you realize her stammering is just the beginning of her control-freak neuroses. Julia (Erika Christensen), the youngest Braverman sibling and feminist corporate lawyer, still eats dinner with her husband and daughter in their sleek kitchen, but only to project her personal competitiveness onto her soon-to-be-OCD kid at meal times and to make her husband feel insecure for cleaning so much as a stay-at-home dad.

It would be easy to assume that Parenthood's producers simply took Girl, Interrupted and removed all the knives and pills, if it weren't for the fact that Adam and Kristina's huge house in Berkeley's 'burbs looks too welcoming to double as an insane asylum.

Sadly, the next generation of Bravermans don't live up to their complicated adult counterparts. Haddie (Sarah Ramos), with enough teenage insecurities to fill up her pink Jansport backpack, gives off a more than irritating vibe as a sullen, typical, and over-privileged suburbanite. The inclusion of her edgier, pseudohipster cousin Amber Holt (Mae Whitman) in the show aims to balance Haddie's tall, blond goodness with a short, brunette hipster who moves into Berkeley with a too-cool-for-school attitude and an entire wardrobe from Urban Outfitters (fake glasses included).

A lapse in good script judgment — or lack of story ideas — further makes Amber out as an immature, boy-obsessed dunce, especially when Haddie and Amber get into a bitchfight during gym class about Amber sleeping with Haddie's scrawny boyfriend. Slogging through plotlines that make American middle-class teenagers look the fools, Sarah Ramos and Mae Whitman with their one dimensional performances make the show's Tuesday night counterpart The Biggest Loser look like intellectual fare. With the exception of Drew, Amber's introverted brother played who's SuPeR dReAmY in that soft-spoken way, the Braverman teenagers make a hysterectomy sound not only necessary but pleasant.

Having kids is so rewarding. Um. Yeah. Unquestionably, Whitman's character would've been better as a nonchalant ne'er-do-well, but her idiotic conversations with her mother about moving in with her boyfriend and, like, totally loving him always escalate into shrill, overdramatic chicken squawking and destroys the possibility for collected coolness in a deafening way. Get a grip! You're from Fresno, not a farm.

The kids are all right?

And the recasting of Graham to replace Maura Tierney — originally slated to play Sarah Braverman who left the show to deal with breast cancer treatment — doesn't exactly do the show favors either. What hopes I had for her television comeback dried up from the frictional heat of her never-ending babble, whether she's screaming at her over-processed daughter or covering up her awkward flubs at diner lunches with her siblings. Blaming the irritating pace of Graham's delivery on the writers resolves only a part of the problem. Soon, you start to realize that Graham basically started her new show where her old one left off. As the daughter who never managed to get her life together with no college degree toting sassy offspring, it's like we're back in Connecticut all over again, only with better weather this time.

Sarah, without a precociously wise daughter to fire back in witty repartée or a scheming, bougey mother to make her look like the good guy, doesn't pull off the friend-mother role in what Graham's treating as Gilmore Girls: The Sequel. Instead, she's stuck stuttering like a moron into the phone while she looks for her runaway daughter, making her look more incompetent parent than an insightful "frother."

It's not like the woman can't act — after all, of all jobs Graham could've bagged after Gilmore Girls wrapped, she took on the role of a biblical wife with realistic aplomb and without wearing Jesus sandals. Parenthood provides a storyline with plenty of opportunities for sharp quips and introspective performances, but Graham refuses to budge from the comfort of Lorelai's nervous and energetic rambling, something that doesn't work within an ensemble cast where Krause's calm Adam just ends up making anxiety-ridden Graham's Sarah look dumb. After 10-plus episodes, I pin it to sheer acting laziness. So I stayed up on a Tuesday night for this?

But a huge surprise redeems Graham's disappointing job and allows for another low-key actor's potential comeback. As Crosby Braverman, Dax Shepard somehow manages to make the youngest, most irresponsible member of the middle generation look the most in touch with reality. Granted, the producers took a cheap shot and stuck the usual black sheep into the family ensemble for variety's sake. But the casting of Shepard as a born-again father when he discovers his old girlfriend gave birth to their son Jabbar — which could've backfired given his history in über-family-friendly shows Punk'd and King of the Hill — is supported by his kooky take on the bachelor who refuses to settle down until forced to do so.

When the rest of his family becomes conceitedly embroiled in their own lives, Crosby reminds us that there's nothing wrong with just chillin' on a house boat, playin' some ping pong. With Type-A Adam and Julia fending off husband-and-wife problems in power suits, Crosby brings some laid-back attitude without breaking out the NorCal weed once. In an odd Zach-Braff-on-Scrubs manner but without the annoying exaggeration and overt displays of "Look at me! I'm madcap and funny!", Shepard uses his honest goofiness paired with an emotional conscience for his new task as his son's role model in order to legitimize himself as a "serious actor," leaving behind his days making movies in a New Mexico Costco.

Or maybe he just learned how to frownIt could be the onslaught of vampire fantasy dramas within the past two seasons. It could be that fat people losing weight is now considered prime entertainment. Whatever the reason, at the end of the past few Tuesday nights, I like Parenthood. I didn't mind that taken as a whole, the manufactured Braverman family resembled all the rest in television history. If the dialogue's this perfectly laced with sarcasm, I can take some of the more predictable moments.

If Peter Krause actually existed as a suburban dad in real life, I wouldn't mind moving to Berkeley for a piece of that jawline. And after the season finale in which Haddie dyed her hair black, maybe she'll be less angsty and more cool come September. In this age of hipsters where everyone is only allowed to like things ironically, Ron Howard's latest project lets me feel genuine for once. (With a hipster on the show to boot! OH, THE IRONY.)

After watching the season finale on Tuesday, I thought I had come to a neat little conclusion. Alas, NBC had again resorted to packaging a cute, family-oriented program into an hour-long dramedy dominated by levelheaded men complemented with their shrill overstrung wives and sisters, handing the viewer a challenge of making sense out of it. Looking back at past mediocre dramas like 7th Heaven, American Dreams, and even supposedly realistic but actually voyeuristic Friday Night LightsParenthood follows the lead of its many, many, many, many, many (press one for English, oprima numero dos para espanol) predecessors.

This is real life... I guess.This conclusion was promptly destroyed when Grandfather Zeek threw a first-class hissy fit at the dinner table when his own children attempted to help his property insolvency issues. Try as he may to ease into the warm and fluffy family genre, Craig T. Nelson flounders almost as much as his bald mullet. Whether acting gruff after cheating on his wife or bickering with his children in a redneck accent, the charm of senile seniority is lost on me. Kudos to Nelson for knowing how to channel maternal and menopausal onscreen — I just really wish he could've let Graham take over those reins.

Even though his character fails miserably at imparting wisdom even at his age, Nelson may singlehandedly make Parenthood must-see TV. You can't help but respect NBC a little more for breaking the mold and turning the usually wise and caring grandfather into a certifiable jackass who congratulates his granddaughter on standing her ground "when that boy was trying to get you to have intercourse with him."

Did I also mention they made Jason Ritter grow a 'stache and goatee combo?

Qichen Zhang is the senior contributor to This Recording. She last wrote in these pages about Gilmore Girls. She tumbls here.

"Bears Only Hibernate Sometimes" - Options (mp3)

"Back Home" - Options (mp3)

"The Best Part" - Options (mp3)

Thursday
Sep172009

In Which We Change All The Rules About Food

What Would Steve Martin Eat?

by MOLLY YOUNG

I have a new rule of thumb when it comes to food. If I can imagine Steve Martin eating x, then x passes the test. If not — if he would avoid x or do something comically derisive to x — than I must do the same.

With the looming amount of food options available to modern consumers, the only sensible thing to do is adopt a doctrine strict enough to narrow the field considerably. WWSME? seems as good a food doctrine as any — it is slightly glamorous, generally healthy, and pleasingly flexible. (You can replace Steve with Harold Ramis, if you wish.)

The introduction of WWSME? into my food habits clashes with a parallel attraction toward the raw vegan lifestyle. A skeptical attraction, but still an attraction. The appeal of raw veganism lies in its adherence to frivolous rules, its celebrity following, and its promiscuous deployment of the phrase 'glowing skin'. The promise of 'glowing skin' is enough to ensnare me in any cult.

Perversity also plays a part in my raw vegan interests. I perpetrate the fascination, in other words, merely because I do not want to. "We stand upon the brink of a precipice," Edgar Allan Poe wrote in his famous description of perversity. "We peer into the abyss — we grow sick and dizzy. Our first impulse is to shrink from the danger. Unaccountably we remain."

Yep! That's it. There's nothing that makes me want to punch a wall with more intensity, for example, than raw vegan branding. Purveyors of vegan goods tend to replace the sensory claims of generic products with ridiculous-sounding spiritual claims. Instead of emphasizing great taste, companies like Love Force will emphasize the "edible love, light and happiness" contained in their snack foods.

In good moods I find this innocuous. In bad moods I find it irksomely foolish. Not particularly misleading or symptomatic of capitalist ills, just foolish. "You've waited your whole life for this," the Love Force packaging claims. Inside, a speckled brown turd awaits.

Have I? Waited my whole life for this, I mean? Love Force has sent me a box of lumps to sample, each one made only of nuts, dried fruits, seeds, agave and flavoring agents. Flavors range from the safely appealing (chocolate orange, chocolate mint) to the inventively tasty-sounding (mango pecan, fig ginger) to the odd but plausible (chocolate lemon).

Each bar costs $4.99. Each is chewy. Each is filling and tastes exactly like what it is — which is to say, delicious. The Fig Ginger and Goji Lemon taste like whole pies compacted into a portable snack. When you taste such non-negotiably good things, it makes you wonder whether the raw vegans aren't on to something after all. It was certainly very nice of the company to send me a boxload of them to try.

But then, my aversion to the raw food vernacular is rhetorical, not visceral. These are bars that come in packages printed with a radiating infinity sign on the header, like some weird detail edited out of a David Mamet play. These are bars that equate, beneath the nutrition info, being vegan with saving our planet — a mantle of importance that I'm not sure most vegans deserve. Love Force is not content to make amazing bars (which they do); they must also "raise human consciousness through the power of organic raw vegan food nutrition and other positive mindful products." And this is where we part ways.

Would Steve Martin eat a Love Force bar? Maybe if he was offered one free of charge. He'd read the name in that good-natured jeer into which his voice has matured, and then he'd consume it without complaint.

And so, in a fashion, will I.

Molly Young is the contributing editor to This Recording. She blogs here and here, for Spike Jonze's new movie. She twitters here. You can buy her books here. She is the creator of Salad & Candy. She last wrote in these pages about a seminal moment from her youth.

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"Little Bird" — Imogen Heap (mp3)

"Earth" — Imogen Heap (mp3)

"First Train Home" — Imogen Heap (mp3